Research found that workers with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs by 70%, and the difference is EQ. Every point of increase in EQ means $1,300 more into your bank account annually. The good news is that someone can learn EQ, and the combination is interesting because your positioning is never lost.
What is EQ?
More than optimism, assertiveness or agreeableness, EQ is about managing emotions to result in positive behaviors, and it is made up of two competences. The first is the personal when you get to understand your emotions in a way that will help you manage your behaviors right. The second is the social, and this is when you become aware of other people’s emotions and motives in a way that will help you improve your communication and relationships with them.
How to Manage EQ?
EQ is a two-dimensional definition that folds up into a four-dimension pattern. The first step is to learn to listen. Listen interactively to understand, not to respond. So, ask questions for clarification. Show empathy and understanding by making the situation better for everyone involved. How? Below, we’ll tackle the four elements to further see how we can sort this formula.
- Self-Awareness: Set your values in life and tune into your own motivational voice. Release yourself from external pressures or even motivators, like praise or rewards. Learn from your mistakes to develop your prospective.
- Self-Management: Are you run by your emotions, or do you hold for a moment to think it over? The 5×5 rule is that if it’s not going to upset you after 5 years, it’s not worth thinking about it for 5 minutes.
- Social Awareness: This is when you develop empathetic and leadership skills. You put yourself in someone’s else shoes. You know what pressures, responsibilities and expectations they have, so you may move next to mutual understanding.
- Relationship Management: Building relationships and rapport is an art. Like every art, different people have different tastes and it’s beneficial to tune into different communication preferences. So, learn how to match people’s body language and expressions so you may reach cooperation and well-being.
Develop EQ via NLP
Knowing the four elements is a good start to develop EQ. Still, how can we move into mutual understanding and cooperation that makes everyone involved satisfied. NLP offers the perceptual positions technique where you can move across 3 paradigms to see the full picture. I believe strongly that this technique can help develop EQ. So, what does it mean and how does it work?
The perceptual positions technique involves 3 positions: first, second and third. The first is when you see your own point of view. You experience your feelings and express opinions. This is critical to develop self-awareness. Second position is when you put yourself in someone’s else shoes. You see the world through their own life system and understand their needs or even limitations. This position could help in developing social-awareness.
Last, there’s the third position that makes you see the situation as if a third person is witnessing what’s happening. So, you become detached from your emotions. In other words, it could help you become unbiased and objective in your judgements. This point is useful in developing self- and relationship management.
In conclusion, if you possess a high degree of EQ, you will find the right tone in self-motivation and productivity. Your conflict and stress management skills will improve, too.